In his brilliant book, The Dignity of Difference: How to Avoid the Clash of Civilizations, Rabbi Jonathan Sacks, Chief Rabbi of the British Commonwealth, says we are living in times of uncertainty when we need to hear the voice of religion. But why? The reason, he says, is this: "Faced with fateful choices, humanity needs wisdom, and religious traditions, alongside the great philosophies, are our richest resource of wisdom."

Two guys were in a bar, and they were both watching the television when the news came on. It showed a guy on a bridge who was about to jump, obviously suicidal. "I'll bet you $10 he'll jump," said the first guy. "Bet you $10 he won't," said the second guy. "You're on!" he says. Then, the guy on the television closed his eyes and threw himself off the bridge. The second guy hands the first guy the money. "I can't take your money," said the first guy. "I cheated you. The same story was on the five o'clock news." "No, no. Take it," said the second guy. "I saw the five o'clock news too. I just didn't think the guy was dumb enough to jump again!" Have you ever made the same mistake more than once, even more than twice? As the proverb says, "We grow too soon old and too late smart!" And we only have two choices in life: we can learn from our own mistakes, or we can learn from those of others. The pathway of wisdom lies especially in learning from the mistakes of others. In today's parasha we see Israel learning a painful lesson, one that brought God's judgment upon them. If we learn from their mistake, we will grow in wisdom. If not, then we will just get to make our own mistakes over and over and over again.

When the people saw that Moses delayed to come down from the mountain, the people gathered themselves together to Aaron, and said to him, "Up, make us gods, who shall go before us; as for this Moses, the man who brought us up out of the land of Egypt, we do not know what has become of him." And Aaron said to them, "Take off the rings of gold which are in the ears of your wives, your sons, and your daughters, and bring them to me." So all the people took off the rings of gold which were in their ears, and brought them to Aaron. And he received the gold at their hand, and fashioned it with a graving tool, and made a molten calf; and they said, "These are your gods, O Israel, who brought you up out of the land of Egypt!" When Aaron saw this, he built an altar before it; and Aaron made proclamation and said, "Tomorrow shall be a feast to the LORD." . . . Ex. 32:4-5

What mistake did Aaron and the people of Israel make? You could say, "They made the mistake of idolatry." And you would be right. You might say, "They made the mistake of not trusting Moses and God." And you would be right again. But at the root of it all, is this. They made the mistake of not honoring their commitments.

Honoring commitments is not altogether popular in our day. But keeping commitments is one of the ways we earn respect from others, or lose that respect when we fail to honor our commitments. And the same is true of self-respect: we keep it or lose it depending upon how we honor or fail to honor our commitments.

Right after this incident of the Golden Calf, we see Moses demonstrating the kind o commitment that Israel failed to show:

And the LORD said to Moses, "I have seen this people, and behold, it is a stiff-necked people; now therefore let me alone, that my wrath may burn hot against them and I may consume them; but of you I will make a great nation." But Moses besought the LORD his God, and said, "O LORD, why does thy wrath burn hot against thy people, whom thou hast brought forth out of the land of Egypt with great power and with a mighty hand? Why should the Egyptians say, 'With evil intent did he bring them forth, to slay them in the mountains, and to consume them from the face of the earth'? Turn from thy fierce wrath, and repent of this evil against thy people. Remember Abraham, Isaac, and Israel, thy servants, to whom thou didst swear by thine own self, and didst say to them, 'I will multiply your descendants as the stars of heaven, and all this land that I have promised I will give to your descendants, and they shall inherit it for ever.'" And the LORD repented of the evil which he thought to do to his people. Ex. 32:9-14

You can see here that even though Aaron copped out, and even though Israel copped out, Moses did not. Moses remained committed to God and to the people of Israel. He did this because he was wise to the ways of God. And he did this because he had character. We would do well to imitate his example.

God places a choice before us every day: Aaron or Moses? Cop-out or Commitment?

We know that wisdom is distilled experience. But what is a commitment and why should we honor our commitments?

Commitments are promises. Life is full of commitments. Marriage is a commitment. Friendship is a commitment. Going to school is a commitment. Being a neighbor is a commitment. Citizenship and voting is a commitment. Being a member of a synagogue is a commitment. Working at a job is a commitment, and so is being a boss. And we either honor our commitments, or we cop out.

But life calls us not only to make commitments to others. It also calls us to make commitments to ourselves. And it is only as we learn to keep commitments to ourselves that we develop the ability to keep our commitments to others.

Stephen Covey speaks of two concentric circles. The outside circle is our circle of interest, everything that strikes our fancy. The inner circle is the circle of influence, that area where we have the power to make a real difference. At the very heart of our Circle of Influence is our self and our ability to make and keep commitments and promises. The commitments we make and keep, to ourselves and to others, is the measure of our character.

It is here that we put ourselves in control of our lives immediately, widening our circle of influence. We can make a promise -- and keep it. Or we can set a goal -- and work to achieve it. A goal is a kind of promise we make to our self. As we make and keep commitments, even small commitments, we begin to establish an inner integrity that gives us the awareness of self-control and the courage and strength to accept more of the responsibility for our own lives. In these ways, our honor becomes greater than our moods.

And here we need to remember what sociologist Robert Bellah calls the habits of our heart. What is our habit? Do we habitually avoid accountability? Do we habitually make excuses for why we don't honor our commitments? Then perhaps a good question to ask ourselves is this: "What kind of a person am I becoming?" And another one is this: "What skills am I honing in my life? Am I just learning to get better and better at making excuses and blaming other people for my life, or am I learning to take control and to take responsibility?"

As we learn to take control and take responsibility we grow into a vessel fit for God's use.

People who exercise their embryonic freedom day after day will, little by little, expand that freedom. People who do not will find their freedom withering until they are literally "being lived." They are acting out the scripts written by parents, associates, and society.

The only person you can change is yourself. And taking control of yourself, taking responsibility for choices and commitments,is one of the secrets of happiness.

Bobby was one of the most unusual children I knew in my own childhood. His father was an alcoholic who typed envelopes at home for what passed for a living. Bobby was poor, but at least from the time he was eleven or twelve, knew exactly what he wanted to do in life. He wanted to go to a vocational trade school, study electronics, then get into the Navy, join the Seabees, and learn electronics there. Of all the children I knew when I myself was a child, Bobby was the only one who really knew what he wanted to be when he grew up . . . and he made a commitment to do it, even as a child.

And he proceeded to do what he said he would do. After Junior High School he went to a vocational High School in Brooklyn and took all the electronics courses he could. I lost track of him, until one day, some fifteen years later or so, I bumped into him down in the Wall Street area. It was great to see him.

"Well, did you do what you set out to do? Did you join the Navy?"

"Yeah," he said, "but they put me on a ship where I couldn't learn electronics. I had to apply for transfer seven times before I got what I wanted, and now I work for Burroughs Business Machines in electronics."

As Bobby stood before me, I saw a contented man, a happy man, a man who had learned even in a difficult childhood, to make commitments and keep them.

Let's conclude by talking about commitments to others. What are some lessons to keep in mind?

1. Avoid unwise commitments. Before making a promise, consider carefully whether you are willing and likely to keep it. Think about unknown or future events that could make it difficult, undesirable or impossible. Sometimes, all we can promise is to do our best.
2. Avoid unclear commitments. Be sure that, when you make a promise, the other person understands what you are committing to do.
3. What commitments have you made? Honor them.
4. What commitments do you need to reconsider? Renegotiate them.
5. What commitments should you never have made? Disengage from them while doing the least damage to all concerned and to the honor of God.
6. What commitments have you abandoned? Repent, and if possible return to honoring them.
7. Rejoice: God never abandons his commitment to His people.

And when it comes to commitments to ourselves, learn this:

1. Start small; learn to keep small commitments and short-term goals.
2. Keep track of those commitments; write them down somewhere.
3. Tell someone else about your commitments, make yourself accountable.
4. Every day, spend at least fifteen seconds moving toward your commitment.
5. Write down when the commitment is fulfilled and congratulate yourself.
6. Keep up this process, commitment by commitment, gradually increasing the size of your commitments.
7. Enjoy!

A commitment is a promise you make, either to yourself or to others. As you learn to keep your commitments, you will become a happier, freer person. Take care what commitments you make. And take care to fulfill the commitments you accept. In all of this, the God who is committed to you will bless you richly.