Shemot (Exodus 1:1-6:1) is the first Torah portion in the book of Exodus and contains the narrative of Moses'   early childhood, his flight to Midian, his encounter with the Divine, and his return to Egypt. Early in the narrative, Moses kills an Egyptian and flees to Midian. There he marries Tzippora, and becomes an attendant to the flocks of his influential father-in-law, Yitro. These years of exile in Midian give us a glimpse into the character of Moses while he is still "a work in progress." We see a vulnerable Moses, lacking in confidence, unaware of his true potential, and clearly wrestling with his identity. Early in the parasha he is not yet the great leader of the exodus from Egypt.

This is most vividly portrayed in the birth of Moses' first-born son:

Moses was glad to stay with [Yitro], and he gave him his daughter Tzippora in marriage. She gave birth to a son, and he named him Gershom, declaring: "I have been a foreigner in a foreign land." (Exodus 2:21-22)

It is interesting that Moses does not say, "I am a Hebrew in a foreign land." Nor does he say, "I am an Egyptian in a foreign land." Instead he states clearly, ger hayyiti - "I am a foreigner, a stranger, in a foreign land."

This verse reveals an identity crisis within Moses. Although he was raised within the palace of Egypt, he was chased out, and Pharaoh wanted to kill him. He was no longer a "Prince of Egypt." Furthermore, Moses did not yet identify with being a Hebrew, and was not recognized as being a Hebrew by his own people. For, after Moses attempted to break up a fight between two Hebrews, one of them lashed out against him:

Then he said, "Who made you a prince and a judge over us? Do you intend to kill me as you killed the Egyptian?" Exodus 2:14

Not only does Moses not identify with being Hebrew or Egyptian; neither do the two Hebrews fighting against each other identify him as a Hebrew or an Egyptian. Their response was basically, "Who do you think you are?" No one, especially a slave, would talk to a Prince of Egypt that way. They would be killed! By this point, Moses is no longer perceived as being Hebrew or Egyptian. Even Pharaoh wanted to kill him. So what did Moses do? He ran away! (see Exodus 2:15b).

But God clearly had a plan for Moses in Midian. God never abandoned him during those forty years. Rather, he was preparing him for his ultimate purpose in life. True leadership must be developed. And often a potential leader must work through insecurities to build the confidence that is truly necessary. How much more so with us? As with Moses, there is a deeper beckoning within our souls. God often has to exile us from our places of comfort in order to reach us. After all, it was in the desert Moses had a life changing encounter with HaShem. And it was in the desert Moses was called back to his people, and to his role in bringing redemption to Israel.

Shabbat Shalom!

This commentary first appeared in The Set Table: A Young Messianic Shabbat Table Guide. To subscribe, send a blank email to  TheSetTable-subscribe@yahoogroups.com, or visit thesettable.org