Lonely Like Moses
Parashat Behalot’cha, Numbers 8:1–12:16
Rabbi Russ Resnik
One of the high points of our Shabbat morning service comes as we arise, open the ark to display the Torah scroll, and chant together, “Vay’hi binsoa ha-aron vayomer Moshe . . . And whenever the ark went forward, Moses would say: ‘Arise O Lord, let Your enemies be scattered. May those who hate You flee from before You.’” Then the Torah scroll is carried through the congregation to be received by all, reenacting the scene at Mount Sinai.
These words arise from another high point, one that comes in this week’s parasha, marking a major turn in the whole drama of the deliverance from Egypt. Back in Exodus, the people of Israel had arrived at Mount Sinai after their rescue from bondage to receive the Torah and build the Tabernacle as God’s meeting-place. In Leviticus, they had received instructions on the sacrifices to be offered in the Tabernacle, along with other teachings that shaped them as a holy people. In the first part of Numbers, the people were counted and their encampment was set in order. Finally, “[on] the twentieth day of the second month of the second year, the cloud lifted up from above the Tabernacle of the Testimony. Then Bnei-Yisrael set out on their travels in the Sinai wilderness” (Num 10:11–12a).
The first part of the journey—the departure from Egypt— is over and now the second part begins, our journey to the Promised Land, with the glory-cloud of Hashem leading the way. As we reenact this scene each week in the synagogue, we recall its prophetic significance: the Word of God goes forth to scatter His enemies and advance toward world redemption. “Arise, Adonai! May Your enemies be scattered!”
But the very next scene in Parashat Behalot’cha is a huge letdown. After this glorious departure, the people begin to complain, “murmuring in the ears of Adonai about hardship,” and longing for the fish they ate in Egypt for free, along with “the cucumbers, the melons, the leeks, the onions, and the garlic” (Num 11:1, 5). In plain Yiddish, they’re kvetching big-time.
Anyone who’s been in a position of leadership—whether as a mother or father, a teacher or supervisor, captain of a team, or leader of a congregation or organization—knows how discouraging it can be to hear such complaints. For spiritual leaders in particular, complaints can be a primary source of weariness and disillusionment. Moses is not immune to such discouragement, and it sends him into a massive complaint of his own, a classic model of kvetching, as he asks Hashem:
Why have You brought trouble on Your servant? Haven’t I found favor in Your eyes—that You laid the burden of all these people on me? Did I conceive all these people, or did I give birth to them, that You should say to me, “Carry them in your bosom just as the nurse carries an infant”—to the land You promised to their fathers? . . . I am not able to carry all these people by myself! The load is too heavy for me! If this is how You are treating me, kill me now! (Num 11:11–12, 14–15)
The Lord doesn’t scold Moses for his kvetching, but He recognizes the core complaint: “I am not able to carry all these people by myself!” Moses feels utterly alone. The people’s murmuring leaves him feeling isolated and alienated, like there’s no one there for him at all. Like many of our holy leaders and prophets in Scripture, Moses experienced intense loneliness, so intense that he wished for death to come and end it.
Amid such spiritual loneliness, God is still present, as the Psalmist notes, “Though my father and my mother forsake me, Adonai will take me in” (Psa 27:10). This deep loneliness can yield a deeper connection with God. In this scene, though, Hashem doesn’t try to talk Moses out of his loneliness, or encourage him to learn from it, but instead provides a remedy, telling Moses:
Bring me 70 of the elders of Israel whom you know to be elders of the people and their leaders. Take them to the Tent of Meeting, so they may stand with you there. Then I will come down and speak with you there, and, I will take some of the Ruach that is on you and will place it on them. They will carry with you the burden of the people, so you will not be carrying it alone. (Num 11:16–17)
There’s a lesson here for us. When we feel alone and isolated, particularly in a leadership position, we can look for other members of the team, whom we might tend to forget or overlook under pressure. We can reach out to them and share our load, not in every case, but more commonly than we may think. And here’s another lesson: To empower the seventy to share in the burden, the Lord takes of the Spirit that’s upon Moses and places it upon them as well. We don’t need to let the complaining of others—or of ourselves—make us forget the power God provides to meet our challenges.
In our parasha, this power spreads more widely than expected and Joshua offers to rein it in. Moses responds in a way that provides yet another lesson: “Are you jealous on my behalf? If only Adonai would make all the people prophets! If only Adonai would put the Spirit on all of them!” (Num 11:29). We see here that it’s possible to get possessive over spiritual power, but such power is no one’s possession. It can’t be doled out and monitored, and in the end we have to trust the source of the power to oversee it. Yes, we’re to maintain a sense of decency and order, but it’s Hashem’s order, not our own domesticated variety.
Moses, of course, is speaking prophetically when he wishes for all God’s people to have the Spirit. Later, through the prophet Joel, Hashem promises to fulfil that wish:
So it will be afterward,
I will pour out My Ruach on all flesh:
your sons and daughters will prophesy,
your old men will dream dreams,
your young men will see visions.
Also on the male and the female servants
will I pour out My spirit in those days. (Joel 3:1–2 [2:28–29])
This promise enters its fulfillment stage on the Shavuot that comes shortly after Messiah’s Resurrection, as recorded in Acts 2.
With divine elegance, Hashem’s response to Moses’ problem of loneliness and alienation sets the stage for a far grander remedy.
All this brings us back to our Torah service. When we recite, “Whenever the ark went forward, Moses would say: ‘Arise O Lord, let Your enemies be scattered,’” we’re looking back to our journey in the wilderness with God’s presence going before us. And then we add words from Isaiah 2 that look to the future: “For Torah will go forth from Zion and the word of Adonai from Jerusalem.”
We look back to the journey that brought us into the Promised Land, and we look ahead to the time when the word of God, which preceded us on that journey, will go forth from the Promised Land to all the nations. This two-fold vision is far more powerful than any kvetching we may possibly encounter or produce ourselves. As we recite these lines each week, may we recall the words of Isaiah that wrap up this part of his vision: “Come house of Jacob, let us walk in the light of Adonai” (Isa 2:5).
Scripture references are from the Tree of Life Version (TLV).