Days of Awe and Repentance
High Holy Days 5786
Russ Resnik, UMJC Rabbinic Counsel
One day, early in his ministry, when Yeshua was standing on the shore of the Kinneret—the sea of Galilee—getting ready to teach the word of God, people started pushing in from all directions, eager to hear every word. There was hardly a place to stand and Yeshua couldn’t raise his voice above the noise of the crowd. He saw two fishing boats pulled up to the shore nearby, so he got into one and asked the owner, a man he knew named Shimon, to put out a little from the land. Yeshua sat down and taught the people from the boat, and when he had finished, he said to Shimon, “Put out into the deep and let down your nets for a catch.” But Shimon answered, “Master, we were fishing all night and didn’t catch a thing! . . . But at your word I’ll let down the nets.” And when they did, they caught a huge number of fish, so many that their nets were breaking and their boats started to sink. But when Shimon saw it, he fell down at Yeshua’s knees and said, “Depart from me, for I am a sinful man, O Lord.” (Luke 5:1–8 paraphrased)
We don’t know at what time of year this story takes place, but I think Shimon is ready for Rosh Hashana and the Days of Awe that follow. He’s ready because he knows he’s not ready. He’s in awe at the presence of one who is clearly far greater than himself and he responds with repentance—or at least with the core impulse of repentance as he realizes his unworthiness. All he can do is fall down and say, “Depart from me, for I am a sinful man, O Lord.”
Shimon has revealed the heart of Teshuva (“turning” or “repentance”), as he turns in deep humility away from his self-sufficiency and complacency. Repentance is one of the main themes of the High Holy Day season about to begin (September 22 – October 2). And so, the ten Days of Awe from Rosh Hashana through Yom Kippur are also known as the Days of Teshuva/Repentance.
If we are ever privileged like Shimon to experience awe in the presence of the holy, we shouldn’t be surprised if we’re overtaken at that moment by how unworthy we are.
Shimon’s response recalls a scene early in Isaiah’s ministry:
In the year that King Uzziah died I saw the Lord sitting upon a throne, high and lifted up; and the train of his robe filled the temple. Above him stood the seraphim. Each had six wings: with two he covered his face, and with two he covered his feet, and with two he flew. And one called to another and said:
Kadosh kadosh kadosh Adonai Tzva’ot
M’lo kal ha-aretz kevodo!
“Holy, holy, holy is the Lord of hosts;
the whole earth is full of his glory!”
And the foundations of the thresholds shook at the voice of him who called, and the house was filled with smoke.
And I said: “Woe is me! For I am lost; for I am a man of unclean lips, and I dwell in the midst of a people of unclean lips; for my eyes have seen the King, Adonai Tzva’ot!”
Then one of the seraphim flew to me, having in his hand a burning coal that he had taken with tongs from the altar. And he touched my mouth and said: “Behold, this has touched your lips; your guilt is taken away, and your sin atoned for.” (Isaiah 6:1–7 ESV modified)
It’s this initial encounter, including his deep sense of unworthiness and the cleansing touch only God could provide, that prepares Isaiah to bear the message to Israel all his life and on through the ages. Even into the 21st century, we still read his chapters of comfort and consolation through the weeks leading up to the Days of Awe.
So, awe and repentance are linked, but not always in the sequence of awe leading to repentance. Rather, in this season it’s customary to practice repentance to prepare for the awe we are to encounter in the Holy Days.
But how are we to prepare? In this season, it’s customary to spend extra time in prayer and Scripture, especially Psalms, and to give attention to the state of our souls. Shimon isn’t doing anything like this in the boat with Yeshua, of course. Rather, he realizes he’s a sinner suddenly, at the same instant that he realizes he’s in the presence of one far greater and more powerful than himself. But we can also practice teshuva in anticipation of the awesome encounter.
So how do we translate this story into a take-away for the Days of Awe, the Days of Teshuva?
We can’t schedule or manage awe, but we can practice teshuva in the form of turning away from our ordinary routine, even disrupting it, to heighten our spiritual alertness. Between now and the close of Yom Kippur, then, let’s try this:
1) Take account of your soul. Teshuva isn’t just a one-time experience, but part of our daily practice as followers of Yeshua, who taught us to pray, “Give us this day our daily bread. And forgive us our debts as we also have forgiven our debtors” (Matt 6:11–12 TLV). And this practice isn’t just self-reflection or self-examination, but humbly seeking the light of the Spirit.
Search me, O God, and know my heart!
Try me and know my thoughts!
And see if there be any grievous way in me,
and lead me in the way everlasting! (Psa 139:23–24 ESV)
You might find it helpful to record your daily accounting in a log or journal.
2) Create less distraction in your life. Spend less time on the screen, whether TV, laptop, tablet, or phone—a partial fast from the ever-distracting, unabashedly human-centered and evanescent realm of media. You might even put some blocks of no-screen time on your calendar!
3) Read Psalms every day. Include reading or even singing them aloud if you can and listen actively to their words. You might already do this sort of thing, so try ramping it up during this season. All of scripture speaks to us; the Psalms speak for us. Psalms speak from heart to heart.
4) Be alert for the transcendent other. I know that’s a fancy phrase, but what I mean is simple enough. Shimon, for all his shortcomings, knew when he was in the presence of something and someone way beyond his ordinary experience. He refrained from labeling, packaging, managing the transcendent other, and instead simply recognized it. That’s something we rarely do in our materialistic, human-centered world – but we can put it into practice as we reduce the distractions around us, and also within us, and seek God’s presence.
Back to Isaiah 6: “In the year that King Uzziah died I saw the Lord sitting upon a throne, high and lifted up. . . . And I said: ‘Woe is me! For I am lost; for I am a man of unclean lips, and I dwell in the midst of a people of unclean lips; for my eyes have seen the King, Adonai Tzva’ot!’”
Our experience of awe is intrinsically tied in with turning in deep humility from our sense of self-sufficiency.
Isaiah is awed and broken at a vision of the heavenly throne room; Shimon is awed and broken in his ordinary workplace at an encounter with the Awesome when Yeshua shows up. This contrast reflects a profound truth: Messiah Yeshua bears the glory of the heavenly throne room into the ordinary spaces of our lives, if we have ears to hear and eyes to see.
We can’t manage or schedule awe, but we can make ourselves ready in the ways I’ve outlined to recognize and bow to the presence of the Awesome One, whether in a glorious vision of the heavenly throne room, or in an encounter of the transcendent Messiah within the humble surroundings of our daily lives. We can make ourselves ready as we cry out for God’s help:
Search me, O God, and know my heart!
Try me and know my thoughts!
And see if there be any grievous way in me,
and lead me in the way everlasting!